Creating something memorable
Fiona Brown Celebrant HMD Services for Naming, Weddings, Funerals
Fiona Brown Celebrant HMD Services for Naming, Weddings, Funerals
Invoking the four Directions (North, South, East, West)
Coloured cords (or ribbons) represent various promises and gifts and as the vows are made the cords are draped and tied together across the couples hands – binding their promises to each other.
Celebrant takes up the four coloured cords. Pale blue, dark blue, red and green.
In many cultures it is believed that the human soul shares characteristics with all things divine.
It is this belief which assigned virtues to the four cardinal directions; east, south, west and north.
It is according to this belief that we align ourselves with these elements.
Each of these blessings form the four cardinal directions which emphasize those things which will help you build a happy and successful union.
(Pale Blue Cord)
Blessed be this union with the gifts of the East and the element of Air,
For openness and breath, communication of the heart, and purity of the mind and body.
From the east you receive the gift of a new beginning with the rising of each Sun, and the understanding that each day is a new opportunity for growth.
____ and _____, I ask you look into each other’s eyes and take each other’s hands.
Will you honour and respect one another, and seek to never break that honour?
‘We will’ (the pale blue cord is draped over the couples’ hands)
And so the first binding is made
(Red Cord)
Blessed be this union with the gifts of the South and element of fire,
For energy, passion, creativity and the warmth of a loving home.
From the fire within you generate light, which you will share with one another in even the darkest of times.
Will you share each other’s pain and seek to ease it?
‘We will’ (red cord is draped over the hands)
And so the binding is made
(Dark Blue Cord)
Blessed be this union with the gifts of the West, the element of water, for your capacity to feel emotion.
In your relationship you offer absolute trust to one another, and vow to keep your hearts open in sorrow as well as joy.
Will you share the burdens of each other so that your spirits may grow in this union?
‘We will’ (dark blue cord is draped over the couples’ hands)
And so the binding is made
(Green Cord)
Blessed be this union with the gifts of the North, the element of earth, which provides sustenance, fertility and security.
The earth will feed and enrich you, and help you to build a stable home to which you may always return.
Will you share each other’s laughter, and look for the brightness in life and the positive in each other?
‘We will’ (green cord is draped over the couples’ hands)
And so the finding is made.
(The cords are now tied together)
_______ and ______, as your hands are bound together now, so your lives and spirits are joined in union of love and trust. Above you are the stars and below you is the earth. Like the stars, your love should be a constant source of light, and like the earth, a firm foundation from which to grow.
So, by joining hands right now and looking into each other’s eyes, let it be known that you are joined, body and soul in this lifetime, and that this bond is sacred and eternal.
(Cords are slipped of – still tied)
(The chosen ring ceremony with legal wording will fit in here)
And now to seal your promises, _____&_____ will you both kiss your lifelong partner before your families and friends?
*legal wording and ring ceremony added as appropriate
CANDLE CEREMONY (not that easy outdoors)
The bride’s and groom’s parents some forward and light a candle each and then together with the bride and groom they light a single larger candle with their two, signifying the joining together of the two into one.
As the candles are lit: As the two candles from both families come together into a single flame, may the joy and love that _____________ and _________________ share unite them as one. What was two is now one joined together in love and commitment to each other.
WELCOME BY CHILDREN (If there are children of either the bride or groom)
Marriage is for children too! For them it is, or can be, more than just witnessing. There is an opportunity for them to bring themselves into the new family and in a symbolic sense to give themselves to this new venture as they bring a "Gift of love" which they will present now to ____________ and ___________.
(The children come bearing flowers, which are given to the Bride and Groom.)
HAND FASTENING CEREMONY
Hand Fasting ritual is performed, whereby the Bride and Groom's hands are bound by a natural woven thread, fibre or cloth, and just before the 'Giving of Rings' the binding is slipped off with the knot still intact, signifying the fact they will always be 'bound together in marriage'. (Many couples, who have a civil ceremony today, just incorporate Hand Fasting into their ceremony without any of the other traditions.)
Many traditions from cultures can be added to you ceremony to give it a theme e.g. Scottish, Aboriginal or make up your own.
BREAKING OF THE GLASS; EXCHANGE OF ROSES OR HEARTS
There are many things to say about marriage. Much wisdom concerning the joining together of two souls has come our way through all paths of belief and from many cultures. With each union, more knowledge is gained and more wisdom gathered. Though we are unable to give all this knowledge to these two who stand before us, we can hope to leave with them the knowledge of love and its strengths, and the wisdom that comes with time.
Wisdom that allows you to share new interests and adventures, while allowing each other freedom to grow as individuals. Wisdom that allows you to always provide a safe place for each other, a place of stability amidst the world's changes... of comfort and acceptance despite life's pressures... that your faith in each other won't be shaken by occasional feelings of hurt or disappointment.
Wisdom that allows you to find in each disagreement the patience to listen, the courage to trust, and the strength to forgive. Wisdom that allows you to always inspire the best in each other, applauding successes, nurturing strengths, believing in each other's dreams, and working as one to make them come true. Wisdom that allows your lives is forever blessed with the richest of meaning, the greatest of joy, and the deepest of love. For the law of life is love. Without love, life is nothing. The epitome of love is marriage.
Marriage is a bond that is entered into only after considerable thought and reflection. As with any aspect of life, it has its cycles, its ups and its downs, its trials and its triumphs. With full understanding of this, ______ and ______ have come here today to be joined in marriage.
Others might ask, at this time, who gives the bride in marriage, but, as a woman is not property to be bought and sold, given and taken, I ask simply if she comes of her own will and if she has her family's blessing.
______, is it true that you come of your own free will and accord? With whom do you come and whose blessings accompany you.
Please join hands with your each other (bride and groom) and listen to that which I am about to say.
Above you are the stars. Below you are the stones. As time passes, remember...
Like a stone may your love be firm. Like a star may your love be constant.
Like a flame may your union be warm and glowing with love in your hearts.
Like the earth may your marriage grow stronger through the seasons.
Like the wind may you sail through life safe and calm.
Like water may your relationship remain clean and soothing, never thirst for love.
Let the powers of the mind and of the intellect guide you in your marriage.
Let the strength of your wills bind you together.
Let the power of love and desire make you happy,
and the strength of your dedication make you inseparable.
Be close, but not too close. Possess one another, yet be understanding.
Have patience with one another, for storms will come, but they will pass quickly.
_____ and ______, you alone have the right to bind yourselves to each other in marriage. Have you come here freely and without reservation to bind your hearts together?
Since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your right hands and declare your consent
Personal vows.
You have declared your consent before us here today.
May these rings be a symbol of your faith in each other and always remind you of your love.
After ring ceremony Celebrant hands chalice to (groom), saying:
May you drink your fill from the cup of love. (Groom) holds chalice for (bride) then vice versa.
_____ and ______, you will now share this bread with each as a symbol that you will nurture each other throughout your lives. Same procedure repeated with bread, groom feeding bride and bride feeding groom.
We are now reminded of two very important aspects of marriage. The bride and groom - and everyone here - should consider these marriage vows irrevocable - just as permanent and final as the breaking of glass is unchangeable. But the breaking of glass is also a warning of the frailty of marriage. Sometimes a single thoughtless act or breach of trust can damage a marriage in ways that are very difficult to undo - just as it would be so difficult to undo the breaking of this glass. Knowing that, the bride and groom should always strive to show each other love and respect. The bride and groom will now acknowledge the permanence of this marriage.
The wine glass wrapped in a white cloth is placed before groom. Groom breaks the glass.
Your last gift to each other as single individuals was your wedding rings - which shall always be an outward demonstration of your vows of love and respect; and a public showing of your commitment to each other. You now have what remains the most honourable title which may exist between a man and a woman - the title of "husband" and "wife." You now will make your first gift as husband and wife.
In the past, the rose was considered a symbol of love and a single rose always meant one thing - it meant the words "I love you." So it is appropriate that for your first gift - as husband and wife - that gift would be a single rose. Please exchange your first gift.
Groom whispers something in brides ear and hands her the rose and vice versa.
In some ways it seems like you have not done anything at all. Just a moment ago you were holding one small rose - and now you are holding one small rose. In some ways, a marriage ceremony is like this.
Tomorrow may seem no different than yesterday. But in fact today, just now, you both have given and received one of the most valuable and precious gifts of life - one I hope you always remember - the gift of true and abiding love within the devotion of marriage.
____and _____, in every marriage there are times when it is difficult to find the right words. It is easiest to hurt who we most love. It is easiest to be most hurt by who we most love. It might be difficult som`e time to say the words "I am sorry" or "I forgive you"; "I need you" or "I am hurting."
If this should happen, if you simply cannot find these words, leave a rose at that spot which both of you have selected - for that rose then says what matters most of all and should overpower all other things and all other words. That rose says the words: "I still love you."
The other should accept this rose for the words which cannot be found, and remember the love and hope that you both share today. _____and _____, if there is anything you remember of this marriage ceremony, it is that it was love that brought you here today, it is only love which can make it a glorious union, and it is by love which your marriage shall endure.
_____ and ______, May you always feel protected by the each other. May you have peace in your hearts and in your home. May you have true friends to stand by you, both in joy and in sorrow. May you be ready and willing to help and comfort all who come to you in need.
May you find happiness and satisfaction in your lives. May daily problems never cause you undue anxiety, nor the desire for earthly possessions dominate your lives.
May you have many happy years together, so that you may enjoy the rewards of a good life. May your love endure.
By the power vested in me, I now announce that you are husband and wife. You may now seal your vows with a kiss.
[[PASTING TABLES IS NOT SUPPORTED]]
THE EXCHANGE OF HEARTS
Celebrant gives bride and groom a heart (small stuffed satin heart shaped pillow).
The heart is considered a symbol of love and always meant only one thing if given to another person – it means ‘I love you’. So it is appropriate that for your first gift as husband and wife is your heart.
{Samples of vows for exchange of hearts}
Wedding Vow
_______, here is my heart, I entrust it to you. With all that I am and all that I will be I promise my life to you.
Wedding Vow
With all my heart, - I will love you with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life.
Wedding Vow
Today I feel peace. I am exactly where I am meant to be. I know the infinite possibilities that are ours. You have my heart and I have yours and the love we share is deep and forever. I love you just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul to sing with mine.
Your gift to each other for your wedding today is also your wedding rings, which shall always be an outward demonstration of your vows of love and respect; and a public showing of your commitment to each other. You now have what remains the most honourable title which may exist between a man a woman – the title of ‘husband’ and ‘wife’.
In some ways it seems like you have not done anything at all. Just a moment ago you were hold a heart – and now you a holding a heart. In some ways a marriage ceremony is like this. In some ways, tomorrow is going to seem no different than yesterday. But in fact today, just now, you both have given and received one of the most valuable and precious gifts of life – one to remember – the gift of true and abiding love within the devotion of marriage.
____ and ____, I ask that where ever you make your home, you pick a special spot to keep these symbolic hearts, so that on each anniversary of this occasion you both may take them out and hold them as a recommitment to your marriage – and a recommitment that this will be a marriage based on love.
In every marriage there are times where it is difficult to find the right words. It is easiest to hurt those who we most love. It is easiest to BE hurt by those we most love. It might be difficult some time to be able to express the words ‘I am sorry’ or ‘I forgive you’ or ‘I need you’ or ‘I am hurting’. If this happens, if you simply cannot find these words, leave your heart at a spot you have both selected – for that heart says what matters most of all and says what is hard to say.
That heart says the words, ‘I still love you’. Remember the love and hope that you both share today.
It is love that brought you here today, it is love which can make it a wonderful marriage and it is through love that your relationship will grow through time.
HEART CEREMONY
_____ and _____ please face each other and take each other’s hands, so that you may see the gift you are to each other.
These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow and forever.
(Best man and maid of honour to hand the couple their hearts)
These hearts are symbolic of your own hearts that you give to each other today.
Wedding Vow
_______, here is my heart, I entrust it to you. With all that I am and all that I will be I promise my life to you.
Wedding Vow
With all my heart, - I will love you with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life.
Wedding Vow
Today I feel peace. I am exactly where I am meant to be. I know the infinite possibilities that are ours. You have my heart and I have yours and the love we share is deep and forever. I love you just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul to sing with mine.
These hearts and hands will work together to build your future.
These hearts and hands will love, comfort and cherish you through the years.
These hearts and hands will hold you if fear or grief comes your way.
These hearts and hands will share tears of sorrow and of joy and will give you support, strength and encouragement along the way to your dreams.
And lastly, these are the hands and hearts that even as time passes will still be there for you, giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.
SAND AND HEART
Note this empty glass. Glass itself is made from sand and the sand of time has come together, melting into one piece to make this vessel. The sands of time should remind us all of our eternal love and our mortality. Today ____ and _____ have chosen to represent their love for each other in a special sand ceremony.
Please ______ and _____, take your separate glass of sand and alternate the pouring of sand into this joining vessel and together repeat after me, ‘You are my love for eternity. I blend with you. My heart is like these grains of sands, merging with yours. I am yours. You are mine. We are together forever like the sand, like the wind. We are one.’
There are many more sand ceremony examples on the internet
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BUTTERFLY WEDDING
Wings: You have given me wings with which to fly
Now I breathe in deep and spread them wide
as we lift off from the silken petals
into the wind where the butterflies glide.
Irish Blessing: May the wings of the butterfly kiss the sun
And find your shoulder to light on,
To bring you luck, happiness and riches
Today, tomorrow and beyond.
An Indian Butterfly Legend:
If anyone desires a wish to come true they must
capture a butterfly and whisper that wish to it.
Since they make no sound, they can't tell the wish
to anyone but the Great Spirit.
So by making the wish and releasing the butterfly
it will be taken to the heavens and be granted.
Author Unknown